Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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