There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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