just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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