new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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