i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
