at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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