So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
This is the high leading the old right now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
