do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's shark week go big or go home
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
