Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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