I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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