He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize