This girl is more easily done than said...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
