if you like me you must not know who I am
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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