She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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