this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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