I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
