Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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