Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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