garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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