My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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