You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
