I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
