i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
