I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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