I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
