"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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