you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
