One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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