if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if only i could text you this smell
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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