Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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