how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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