I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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