So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
