no, he came in my armpit
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
