Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My ass is underappreciated
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
