Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
