ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
