holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
