Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
