I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
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I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
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IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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