...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize