honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
