you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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