I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
