u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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