We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she smelled like a LAN party
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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