ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
