I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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