would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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