I am in a vortex of obligation.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dicks are not precious.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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