dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
