I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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