tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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