2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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