i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Michael Bay diarrhea
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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