why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
